mattfast1 - the fast one

As authored by Matt

Wedding of a Cousin

Sunday, September 26th, 2004 12:00 AM MDT

I love Nebraska drinking traditions.

What a way to start a story about a wedding. However, it's the truth: a wedding is an event that allows people to drink a lot of alcohol. This particular wedding was my cousin Mindy getting married to a guy named Chris who grew up in a town in Nebraska named Beemer, just down the road from Norfolk. The actual wedding was in West Point, NE and the the reception was in Beemer, NE.

After the wedding in West Point, the wedding party (Bride & Groom, Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, Flower Girls, Ringbearer, and Ushers) went on a hayrack ride through the town of Beemer. Just about everyone on board (no matter the age) had alcoholic beverages, but none more so than the bride's sister Erynn, who made a bet with the groom's brother Eric that she couldn't drink six beers in the span of the thirty-minute ride.

She wobbled off the ride completely hammered.

But the fun didn't stop there. Erynn kept on drinking afterward for another 7 hours during the party, until I started looking pretty good to her. Being her cousin, I refused her "offers".

I hate being sober in a crowd of drunks.

Sophomores suck, but Booth is worse.

Saturday, September 11th, 2004 12:00 AM MDT

Yesterday was the Homecoming pep rally, and for the first time in four years, it sucked ass.

We started with a moment of silence for the three kids who are still in a coma from an accident on Thursday night. Then, we had to hear from the captains of the sports team. Then, we had the band butcher some classic works of art, including The Eye Of The Tiger. They completely butchered it, I tell you.

After that, we had the fun part, the Class Competitions. In the Tug-of-war, the Sophomores beat the Seniors, but it was found that the Sophomores had two extra people, so we won that to beat the Juniors. Then, during the Centipede Race, every single class cheated. Except the Freshmen. They should have won. They didn't.

So, for the third time in four years, the Seniors have won on a technicality. The Juniors should have won last year, but the Seniors got a reprieve from Booth. The Juniors should have won the year before that on a technicality. The year before that, they got a technicality, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway; they won outright without Booth's cheating.

Oh, and that accident I mentioned earlier? We're honoring these kids for doing something stupid.

Booth is a moron.

Can I Please Have Some Talent Here?

Thursday, September 9th, 2004 12:00 AM MDT

Last night was the Homecoming Show. OK, so the Administration called it a talent show, but there really was no talent in this bunch. Two bands (that don't sing), a dirty dancing routine, two blonde emcees, and several others performed in this, but the best talent comes from us Techies who operate the equipment.

The Arapahoe High School principal of over 20 years, Ron Booth, was hanging out backstage during much of the first show, and for the entire second show. Not only was our principal hanging out on the stage (which is bad enough), he brought his big-ass flashlight. Not only did he bring his big-ass flashlight, he kept shining it in everyone's eyes. The ones he got the worst? The techies.

Bastard.


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